


Love You, Goodbye

by AmazingTomHollandisnotonfire



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Carlos is SAD, Carlos wrote Seb a letter everyday but I only wrote eleven, Closeted!Seb, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, NONE OF THE MEDICAL SITUATIONS ARE REAL I MADE THEM UP TO FIT THE TIMELINE, Protective!Carlos, Protective!Seb, and then he gets more sad, literally almost this entire thing is angst, only once, only the theatre dorks know they are dating, sort of a valentine's day fic but not really, the timeline is one month so thirty-one letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22643410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingTomHollandisnotonfire/pseuds/AmazingTomHollandisnotonfire
Summary: The Matthew-Smiths get into a car crash, leaving Seb in a coma. Carlos writes him a letter every day.
Relationships: Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 16
Kudos: 52





	Love You, Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the tags the medical parts of this are so inaccurate so please don't focus on those.  
> Prepare yourself for angst even more angst.

_January 15, 2020_

_Seb,_

_I'm writing this letter to you because something has happened and it's impossible for me to say these things in person. Because yesterday was the day you were supposed to come back from visiting your grandparents. We were going to go out for dinner and you were going to tell me all about your crazy family adventures that you would pretend you hated even though I know you loved them. I waited all day for you to call me, but you never did. I figured you were just tired or you forgot. I wasn't upset with you, you must know that. I don't know how they got my number or why they called me, but this morning I got a phone call from the Salt Lake Regional Medical Center, and I found out why you never called me when you got back._

_You never made it back._

_Apparently, you were in a car crash about 20 minutes from your house - only 10 minutes from mine. I should have been there. I should have known somehow instead of sitting at home feeling bad about myself. As soon as I got the call my forced my mom to take me to the hospital. The doctor said that the rest of your family woke up and had been released but you were still unconscious. You hit your head on the airbag the hardest. They said there was a small chance of memory loss, but that it was rare in cases like this and that I shouldn't worry about that yet._

_I spent all morning here sitting in the waiting room, waiting for any information. Your family was in your room and you aren't out to them yet, so that's why I wasn’t sitting with you... If I could have, I would have stayed in your room the whole day, saying all this to you in person while you were asleep._

_It's nine now and the receptionist is telling us that we should leave because visiting hours are over. I'm going to ask her to hold on to this and give it to you if you wake up when I'm gone. If not, I'll be back tomorrow. My mom already said I could skip school so I'll be here all day waiting for you to wake up <3 _

_Sincerely,_

_~~Carlos~~ Yours. _

-

_January 16, 2020_

_Hi Seb,_

_When I got here this morning and was told you still hadn't woken up, I decided to write you another letter. They think you've fallen into a coma. I’m trying not to worry so much, I mean your entirely family woke up right? You should be waking up any day now! But in the meantime I want to keep you updated about everything that is happening. Besides, I found the last letter to be very therapeutic. It felt like I was talking to you, even if I know I wasn't, and now I probably won't for a little while._

_I couldn't sleep last night. I had a nightmare about your accident and after I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep. It was so clear - I knew it was you - but I couldn’t make out your face. While I know it would have been worse if I could, the selfish part of me wishes I saw it for even a moment. I haven’t seen your face since we facetimed a couple days ago._

_My mom dropped me off here on her way to work and she can't pick me up again until six, which sucks because I want to stay here until visiting hours were over, just in case. But I can't ask her to stay here until nine again, especially after she worked all day. I wish I could drive Seb, more than anything right now. Well, I wish you would wake up more than anything actually, but being able to drive and stay here all the time waiting for you would help me I think. I can't stand the idea of not being here while you are in some bed unconscious. I hate the idea of you waking up and me not being here, even if you wouldn't want to see me while you're with your family._

_So many people have come in since I've been here. A small boy who swallowed a marble, a mother and her crying baby, a girl in a sports uniform who couldn't walk. But, want to know the difference between them and you honey? They all left today. The boy left holding the marble like a trophy, the mother left cradling her child and smiling, and the girl walked out with crutches. Why didn’t you walk out Seb? Why are you in a coma while the rest of these people walk in and out of here within hours? It's not fair. You are the human embodiment of an angel, baby. You deserve to wake up and live the rest of your life, not spend any more of it in a bed that isn't even yours surrounded by machines that are attempting to keep you alive. The world is truly as cruel as I thought it was. But I know you will make it through this because you are the strongest person I know._

_I don’t think I've stopped crying since yesterday. I'm surprised I even have tears left but they won't stop coming. People have been staring at me all day but I don't think I care. You wouldn't judge me, and that's all that matters._

_My mom just got here so I have to leave now. I'm leaving this with the nice receptionist who has your other letter._

_Please wake up soon._

_Sincerely,_

_~~Carlos~~ Yours. _

-

_January 20, 2020_

_My dearest, Seb,_

_Today was my first day back at school since your accident. It was weird, to say the least. On instinct, I went to meet you at your locker but the group approaching me asking how you were doing snapped me out of it. They were the only reasons I got through the day today. We all decided to eat lunch together in the cafeteria, something I never thought we would ever do. I sat in between Nini and Ashlyn, which was sort of uncomfortable since they both have boyfriends but no one tried to be too "coupley" today. I really appreciated that. We talked a lot about the spring musical. There were a lot of good ideas: Newsies, Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton (hence the greeting). Newsies and Hamilton would be interesting but also expensive and difficult as hell for me to choreograph. Dear Evan Hansen would be fun, but there's also no choreography for that so I would be out of a job (Miss Jenn talked to me about actually being in the show based on my singing during her school board meeting, but I'm not sure how I feel about that). The only reason I would love to do Dear Evan Hansen is to have to play Evan. I always think about that time you sang 'If I Could Tell Her'. You should be on broadway singing that song but I would be okay hearing you sing it in the auditorium too. Ricky and Big Red kept suggesting High School Musical 2 and it was hilarious to hear all the long-time theatre kids tell them how stupid that was. I still haven't seen that movie. You told me we would watch them together one day._

_Mr. Mazarra's class was as horrible as always. We got assigned some group assignment, which I used to hate but lately, I've been doing them with you so they have been fun. But when I looked over at your desk, you weren't there. I tried to do the assignment alone but Mr. Mazarra forced me to join a group. They didn't talk to me and I ended up doing it by myself anyway. I swear that man takes any opportunity to make my life miserable. Remember when we would make fun of him in class when his back was turned? How my dancing would be extra obnoxious during tests just to make him mad? How you threatened to punch him square in the nose when you found out what he said to me in the hallway all those months ago? We've had some good times in the lab, huh?_

_I passed by the Sharpay lockers three times today, and I kept imagining you as a senior. I imagined you winning the lottery for them, or me bribing the school to give them to you because if anyone should have them, it’s you. You would tell me while freaking out in that adorable way you always do while giving me your "Seb smile". We would have a photoshoot and decorate it to match what they looked like in the movie. It feels so far away but it's not, so there's always the possibility you won't wake up by then. But I know you will. You are invincible, Sharpay._

_Sincerely,_

_~~Carlos~~ Yours. _

-

_January 24, 2020_

_Hey Seb,_

_Today Miss Jenn told me the spring musical. We will be doing Beauty and the Beast, which is weird because I'm pretty sure East High already did that? Wasn't Nini in it? Anyway, Miss Jenn wants me to start choreographing it and I can't tell anyone, even though I just told you. Whoops._

_Auditions are next month. I really hope you wake up before then. You could literally play any of the roles but I really think you would be amazing as a lead this time - whether that be Belle or the Beast. I also think you could play Lumiere, but I might be biased because I want to give you another show-stopping dance solo during Be Our Guest. You were the star of the show last time Seb. Nobody could have played that part better than you. Everyone absolutely loved you, especially your family even though you were so nervous about them. Your family seems amazing. I adored the way they showed up to the show with signs and cheered you on at every appropriate and inappropriate moment they could. I know they are so supportive of you Seb, and I know that they would be supportive of anything you decided to do. Anyone you decided to be with…even if one day it’s not me. I know you say they are very traditional and you are scared about how they would react, but I hope that one day you realize how much they seem to love you. If you are able to be in Beauty and the Beast, I really hope to meet them, even if it's just as your friend or choreographer._

_I've been to the hospital every day since you were admitted, but I have never been inside your room. A member of your family is always there and I wouldn't know how to explain who I was. I wouldn't know what you'd want me to say. I sit in the waiting room attempting to do my homework but usually, I never get anything done. I people-watch or scroll through old pictures of us. My favorite one is the selfie we took before opening night. You were in your makeup and costume, my head was on your shoulder, and we were both smiling even though we were nervous. It's currently my home screen. My lock screen right now is the picture I took of you on our first date. We were watching the sunset and you looked back at me just when I was taking the photo of you, giving me the perfect picture of you and the Salt Lake City skyline. You looked angelic and so happy. Or at least, I hope you were happy. I know I was._

_It breaks my heart that you haven't smiled like that in ten days. That you probably won’t smile like that again for a while. But I hope to see it soon honey because that smile is my favorite thing in this world besides you (and dancing) <3\. _

_Sincerely,_

_~~Carlos~~ Yours. _

-

_January 27, 2020_

_Sebby,_

_Today school actually sucked. I guess drama happened over the weekend with the group because lunch was basically unbearable. Ricky and Nini were arguing (shocker) over something I didn't bother listening to. E.J was somehow involved and Ashlyn, Big Red, and Kourtney kept trying to interject, making everyone pissed at them too. Gina and I didn’t get involved. I put my headphones in and tried to drown them out but it didn't really work._

_I ended up leaving halfway through the lunch period and going to the library. It was depressing because I thought for sure I wouldn't have to go back in there to eat anymore, but I guess not. I was always so sad eating in there, so when you invited me to eat with you I was so happy. I thought we'd be eating together until we graduated and beyond._

_I miss you so much. I've missed you since the accident but I think it's starting to hit me just how much I miss you. I'm still having trouble sleeping. Each night I have a nightmare but each time it's a little bit different. Sometimes you are alone, sometimes with your family, sometimes I'm at the site and sometimes I'm at home. Most of the time you are just unconscious like you are now, but there have been sometimes when you died, like last night. I wake up screaming and my mom has to come in and calm me down. Sometimes it takes me hours to stop crying. I just wish you were here and that you were okay._

_I want to sit with you and everyone at lunch. When everyone is arguing I want us to look at each other and roll our eyes because we know how undramatic we are compared to them. I want to take you out on more dates, maybe to the movies or to a nice restaurant. I want to watch High School Musical 2 and 3 with you, even though I would have never admitted that out loud before. I know I acted annoyed at you but I got so excited that you wanted to do that with me. I want to be public with you. I want to hold your hand and kiss you at school, I want to meet your entire family over some big dinner that I get super nervous about but it ends up going really well. I want it all with you Seb._

_Please wake up soon._

_Sincerely,_

_~~Carlos~~ Yours. _

-

_January 29, 2020_

_Hi Seb,_

_As of yesterday, it has been officially two weeks since your accident. It feels like it's been so much longer. It has been so hard without you here I feel like you've been asleep for years. For sure I thought things couldn't get any harder, but I was so wrong. Yesterday I went to the hospital after school and got the worst news I could have ever expected._

_Apparently, after two weeks, a patient in a comatose state has a greater chance of having long-term memory loss. Seb, there is now a big chance you might not remember me. I can't handle that…I can't. I sat in the waiting room silent for hours apparently - I don't remember anything that happened after the doctor talked to us. I couldn't even breathe. After we left my mom said she had to help me out of the car, into the house, and up to my room. This is where things took a turn for the worst._

_As I said, I don't remember anything that happened yesterday, except for the aftermath. It's a scary thought Seb. I lived through an entire evening and I don't remember any of it. One minute I was standing in the waiting room talking to the doctor, the next minute I'm on my bedroom floor with bruised knuckles and bloody scratches on my forearms. I was so scared - I didn't know where I was or what I had done. All I could do was think about you and cry as my mother attempted and failed to calm me down._

_Seb, I'm losing my mind. I know this is so selfish, everything I've written to you in the last two weeks has been so selfish, but I can't lose you. I won't lose you. You have become everything to be Seb, you're my happiness. You are the first person I talk to every morning and you are the last person I talk to every night. Sophomore year has been the happiest I have ever been and a big part of that has been because of you. Just being with you makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. Whether we are dancing, talking, dealing with other people's drama, I love being with you, I really do, and I hope that you like being with me too. And now there's a chance you won't even remember me? A chance that you won't remember us? It's breaking me. I can't live without you Seb. I know I keep saying that I know you'll come back but I'm slowly losing hope._

_I'm going to stop signing these with my name and I’ll be making the last fourteen letters anonymous. If what the doctor's saying is true and you might not remember the last year of your life, I don't want these to pressure or overwhelm you. But a part of me hopes that you will wake up, read these, and know who I am. A part of me hopes I won't lose you._

_Come back to me soon baby._

_Sincerely,_

_Yours._

-

_February 2, 2020_

_To Seb Matthew-Smith,_

_I use your full name now because of what happened to me tonight._

_After I left the hospital, I went to a 24-hour diner to get something to eat since my mom was working late. I sat in a back booth picking at my food. The waitress wasn't interested in my spaced-out mood and I was completely alone. It was the most depressing setting I have found myself in a very long time. But then something happened. The bell rang as the front door opened and someone walked into the diner._

_You walked into the diner._

_Or, I thought you did._

_When I laid eyes on "you", my heart stopped. You looked younger, more naïve, but I saw you. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as "you" looked at me and looked away without a second glance. I thought you had forgotten me, that I had lost you for good. But then in walked another six people who looked just like "you" and I finally put it together. I was staring at your younger brother and the rest of your family._

_This was the first time I had seen them up close and in person and I can't believe how much you look like them. You are a Matthew-Smith and it shows. It hurt seeing them because it became so clear that you weren't there. Your family was having dinner and you were in a hospital bed. You love your family Seb, you should've been there with them. You shouldn’t be missing these moments with them. You don't deserve that._

_I wanted to approach them, just like I've wanted to for weeks now. I wanted to tell them how sorry I am for what they're going through. I wanted to tell them how amazing you are and how much you mean to me. I wanted to tell them how much I ~~love~~ like their son and how unbelievably happy he makes me. But I didn't. You also deserve to come out to them on your own terms. I left as soon as they came in and it took everything in me not to look back at them because it was the closest I've been to seeing you in weeks. _

_I hope to at least see you soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Yours._

-

_February 7, 2020_

_Dear Seb,_

_Auditions for the musical are in a few weeks and I haven't been able to choreograph a single number I imagined you'd be a part of. How could I? How could I choreograph something that you will never do or even see? I imagined us practicing 'Be Our Guest', if you got the part of Lumiere, in the bomb shelter as we did with 'Bop to the Top'. We would dip and twirl and I was hoping we'd practice long enough for me to ask you to the winter formal like how I did for homecoming. I imagined us dancing to 'Beauty and the Beast', even if you didn't get a lead. I pictured us in your barn with lights hanging from the ceiling. You would introduce me to all your animals, you would give me the backstory of all their names and all the crazy adventures you’ve had throughout your adorable farm-life. Then I would start the music and we would dance the night away. You would start singing it and I would stumble because I lose myself in your voice. I would start singing too, and you would smile and nudge my shoulder like you always do because you know I hate my voice but you like it for some reason. Oh and speaking of dance, I found myself thinking about next year. I planned out a promposal for you involving Sharpay Evans, farm animals, and a solo musical number. I was actually really excited about it._

_Great now I'm spiraling._

_I know that these letters are getting shorter, and I'm so sorry about that. It's getting harder for me to write these because I'm losing the hope that you'll know who I am when you read them. Or if you'll ever get to read them. I want to keep writing to you Seb, I really do, but I don't know if I can. I miss you too much._

_I hope that one day I'll be able to dance with you again._

_Sincerely,_

_Yours._

-

_February 8, 2020_

_Seb,_

_When I'm not at school or in the hospital waiting room, I've been finding myself at my dance studio. It's easier to choreograph when I'm not surrounded by the pictures of you that are all around my bedroom. Sometimes I spend hours there, dancing and dancing without ever taking a break. I know I've been close to passing out a few times but I can't stop because if I stop I start thinking about you. And if I start thinking about you, I lose it._

_And that's exactly what happened._

_Today before I came to the hospital, I was going through the choreography for Beauty and the Beast, but I guess my files were on shuffle because the next song that came on was 'Bop to the Top'. I stopped, but I actually caught myself smiling a bit. I thought that maybe I was getting to a point where I could think of you and not burst into tears. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was to a point where I could start living again, so I started doing our old choreography. I made it to right before I spun you around before my knees went weak and I fell to the floor. The tears started forming and I cried for what felt like hours._

_I'm not to a point where I can start living again Seb. I don't know when I'll ever be to a point where I can start living again. I know this may sound so stupid - we were only dating for three months - but you meant the world to me. I loved being with you and I loved talking to you and I just…_

_I can't keep doing this._

_Sincerely,_

_Yours._

-

_February 10, 2020_

_Seb,_

_Today when I was on the bus our song came on. 'In Love On Valentine's Day'. That's our song baby. But that’s when it hit me: Valentine's Day is in four days and you still aren't awake._

_I had big plans for Valentine's Day. It was our first one together after all, and it would've been our first of many I would hope. It was also my first with a boyfriend, but that wasn't the important part. I was going to come into school early to decorate your locker with hearts and chocolates. I was going to put a speaker in your locker so that when you opened it, our song would be softly playing. As it started playing I would approach your locker with a little stuffed cow holding a heart. I think it's something you would've liked a lot, even if it meant us being very public at school. I was also going to ask you about that before I did it, of course. Then after school, I thought we could go to my house to have a movie marathon. I was going to set up fairy lights, pillows and blankets, and get some of your favorite snacks. I was going to suggest we watch the High School Musical sequels - I still haven't watched them. I don't want to watch them without you._

_I was so excited Seb. I wanted to use Friday to show you how much you mean to me. You helped me through so much this year and I wanted you to know how grateful I am for you. I was going to tell you how much I loved spending these last couple of months with you. I've thought about dropping the stuffed cow off at the hospital, but I can't seem to let go of it. I don't have anything of yours, so something that would have been yours has been a physical comfort for me. I made new plans for Valentine's Day this year. This year I'll be looking at our homecoming pictures while our song plays on a loop._

_But I guess at the end of the day, I guess I did experience my first Valentine's Day with a boyfriend._

_With you angel, every day was like Valentine's Day._

_Sincerely,_

_Yours._

-

_February 13, 2020_

_Sebastian Matthew-Smith,_

_You don't know who I am, but I know who you are. Then again, if you have read all of my letters, then you have some idea who I am. I was your significant other. We dated for about three months and we were happy. I won't tell you my name, just as I said I wouldn't before. I don't want to pressure you into finding me or talking to me about us._

_I'm so glad you are finally awake. I asked your doctor! I'm not stalking you I promise! Okay, this is not going the way I wanted it to…_

_For the last month, I have written you a letter every single day, and that ends today. When your doctor told me that you were awake but the last thing you remember was New Year's Day 2019, a whole year before your accident, I was heartbroken. Not just because of me, but for you. You lost a year of your life, and you don't deserve that. So many amazing things happened to you this year and you deserve to know what they are. Your family will probably do the same thing, but I want to tell you about all the important things you may have forgotten._

_You are a sophomore at East High School. On the first day of school, the new drama teacher announced that we would be doing High School Musical: The Musical. You auditioned for your dream role of Sharpay Evans and got the part with no question. You made so many new friends with the drama kids, especially the makeup artist Kourtney because she made you feel at home with yourself. You went to homecoming with someone who had been infatuated with you since your audition. They were so nervous to ask you but dancing with you was the most fun they'd ever had up to that point. You performed in High School Musical: The Musical opening night and stole the show. You were so amazing Seb, even if you had your doubts. People talked about your performance for weeks after opening night. I still think about it all the time because truly, you rivaled Ashley Tisdale. That night was a complete disaster on almost all accounts, but you were absolutely incredible. Ask your family to show you the video because I know you'll blow yourself away._

_I know you are going to be dealing with an adjustment period, but I want to leave you with some things that will hopefully help you. As I said before, you found yourself in your pink Sharpay costumes and makeup. Please don't give that up. I love your farmer boy wardrobe, and I know you do too, but don't be afraid to express the other side of yourself._

_Please audition for Beauty and the Beast, or if it's too overwhelming for you right now, the fall musical junior year. Seb, you have the voice of an angel, and the world needs to hear it. You are always doubting yourself and your abilities, but you could get any part you set your mind to._

_Please be yourself. You are sweet, funny, kind, and caring. You are amazing in every way and it hurt me so much that you were afraid to be yourself in front of the people who love you. Your family, future relationships, don't be afraid of yourself because you are incredible. You are loved…_

_I love you Seb Matthew Smith. I do I love you so much. I think I've written that down several times through these letters but I crossed it out every time. But this is the last opportunity to tell you so I'm telling you. I am so deeply and completely in love with you, and I've regretted it every single day that I didn't tell you earlier. You have made me so unbelievably happy, so much happier than I ever thought I could be. If you're wondering why I always signed off my letters with "Sincerely, Yours" here's why: you might not remember me, but my heart has been and always will be yours._

_So thank you. Thank you for the three amazing months that we were together, four if you include the time you were asleep. Thank you for giving me a shot, something that very few people have ever done._

_I hope that you have the amazing life you deserve with someone who deserves you, even if it can't be me. I will always cherish the little time we had because it was one of the greatest times of my life. I love you Sebastian Matthew Smith and goodbye._

_Sincerely,_

_Yours, forever and always._

-

Tears were streaming down the faces of all members of the Matthew-Smith family as Mrs. Matthew finished reading the letter, but none more than Seb himself. After the receptionist dropped off a folder of letters to Seb only minutes after he woke up, his family had been reading them aloud one after the other.

From the first sentence of the first letter, Seb knew they were from Carlos. The thought made him blush, he absolutely adored his boyfriend for being so thoughtful. But as the letters went on, the blush disappeared and the tears became more sad than thankful. He could feel Carlos getting more depressed as the days went on, but there was nothing he could do to stop it because it already happened. And he was just laying here asleep. As his boyfriend mentioned unconscious self-harm and dizzy spells, Seb couldn't help the sobs that escaped his throat. He wanted more than anything to leave the hospital and go comfort his boyfriend, but he had to keep going. He had to know how these ended.

When his mother finished the letter dated from that day, Seb was absolutely devastated. He didn't try and stop the tears anymore and didn't care when a member of his family who he didn’t register came to comfort him and thankfully, they didn't ask about the content of the letters or who the author was. All he cared about was his hurting boyfriend who thought Seb forgot him. Maybe he didn't remember the last month of his conscious state that well, and maybe he got January of 2019 confused with January of 2020, but he'd be damned if he ever forgot Carlos for even a second. He begged and plead to leave the hospital but he wasn't allowed until tomorrow. _Valentine's Day._ Seb smiled to himself. He would be leaving the hospital tomorrow, and he knew exactly what he had to do.

-

Seb entered East High with his family in tow the next morning, supplies in hand. While he wasn't helpless, he wasn't supposed to be alone either so he was forced to have his family here to share in the moment. _Then again,_ Seb thought to himself, _I think they should be here for this._

Seb led his family to the sophomore hallway and to the all-too-familiar locker. He smiled as he approached it, remembering all the after-school meetups that took place in that very spot, and thinking about all the ones that would happen in the near future. He opened the locker with the combination only he and his boyfriend knew and got to work. He filled the locker with Carlos' favorite candies, chocolates, and the stuffed animal he picked out from the hospital gift shop the night before. Everything that Carlos had planned on doing for him, Seb planned to do for Carlos. His family still hadn't asked any questions about who this was all for, and Seb was grateful. They knew he would tell them when he was ready, but little did they know he would be ready in only a few moments.

Students began entering the hallway as Seb positioned the speaker on the locker's top shelf, and he motioned his family to follow him behind a nearby wall to wait for Carlos. He watched his boyfriend enter the hallway with the theatre gang that, to Seb’s amusement, had clearly stopped arguing. Ricky and Nini were back to being inseparable, holding each other’s hands and looking at each other with smiles on their faces. Ashlyn was holding a single rose and Big Red had the faintest blush coating his cheeks. And Kourtney, shockingly, was joking around with E.J and Gina. Everyone seemed to be having a great Valentine's Day. Well, everyone except Carlos.

Carlos kept looking down the hallway at Seb's locker, wanting more than anything to see his boyfriend there picking off the chocolate pieces and hugging the stuffed cow that should have been waiting for him there. He felt the tears started to form - something that Carlos had come accustomed to by now - but he blinked them away before anyone could see. But Seb saw, and he had to resist any and all urges to run over to his boyfriend and comfort him right then and there.

Carlos broke away from the group and opened his locker, freezing when he saw the candies wrapped in pink thrown about inside. He raised an eyebrow at the stuffed animal on top of his chemistry book: a brown bear holding a heart with three words sewn into it. Finally, he froze as the opening notes to "In Love On Valentine's Day" began to play. Gripping the bear to his chest, he turned around to see his boyfriend standing behind him. Seb's face contained only a few healing injuries, but the things that mattered to Carlos hadn't changed. Seb's bright blue eyes were still wide and held a certain sparkle when the boys made eye contact, his hair was still perfectly styled, and his lips were turned upward to form the signature "Seb smile" that Carlos loved more than anything. He blinked and pinched himself to make sure the situation was real, and he broke out into his first genuine smile in a month when he registered the reality of the situation. That was invitation enough for Seb, who took the initiative to step forward, take Carlos' face in his hands, and connect their lips for the first time in over a month. The students around them erupted into cheers and applause - including the Matthew-Smith family who was still observing behind them - but neither boy even noticed.

Carlos froze for only a moment before wrapping his arms around Seb's neck, savoring the warmth that Seb's body and touch gave him. He knew that this was wrong - Seb didn't remember him and obviously asked around to figure out his identity - but he couldn't bring himself to stop it. He just needed a moment more before he said goodbye to this beautiful boy again and for real this time. Similar to Carlos, Seb was holding onto Carlos desperately, not wanting to ever let him go again. He knew he couldn't have _really_ missed his boyfriend - he was unconscious after all and didn't know more than a few minutes had passed from the time of the accident to the time we woke up until he was told otherwise - but somehow, he missed Carlos so much that he couldn't help but squeeze his boyfriend harder just to be sure he wouldn’t lose him again. To everyone's disappointment, Carlos was the one to finally pull away, desperate to look at his boyfriend again. Tears were now streaming down his face as he prepared to end it.

"S-Seb we c-can't. I don't k-know who told you it was m-me but you don't r-remember-"

"You really thought I could ever forget you?" Seb said smiling, trying to ignore the tears that were forming in his own eyes. Carlos' eyes widened but he tried not to get his hopes up.

"B-but the d-doctor said-"

"Sweetheart, it's gonna take more than an airbag to the head to take me away from you. You're mine, forever and always. Remember?" Carlos let out a wet laugh, pulling his boyfriend in for the hug he had been craving for weeks.

He couldn’t believe it. After a month without him and twenty-four hours thinking he lost him for good, Seb was in his arms, conscious, and with his memory fully intact. He squeezed harder and harder, practically clawing at his boyfriend to be absolutely sure that nothing could take him away again. 

"Don't ever scare me like that again I-I can't l-lose you Seb I l-love you s-s-so much." Carlos choked out, burying his face into his boyfriend's shoulder. Seb blushed, tilting his face down into his boyfriend's hair.

"I love you more" Seb whispered. He began swaying his boyfriend side to side, giving Carlos the dance he had been hoping for as their song slowly faded to an end.

_It's great to be in love on Valentine's Day._

_On Valentine's Day._

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't add fluff into the tags because I didn't want to spoil but yay for a happy ending?  
> I hope you all enjoyed because I honestly loved writing this one :)


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